Comments on: How To Deal with Dysfunctional People — And Not Go Crazy Yourself http://drpaulwhite.com/blog/2007/05/27/how-to-deal-with-dysfunctional-people-and-not-go-crazy-yourself/ Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 09 Sep 2010 20:22:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.3 by: Paul http://drpaulwhite.com/blog/2007/05/27/how-to-deal-with-dysfunctional-people-and-not-go-crazy-yourself/#comment-4041 Fri, 01 Jun 2007 12:28:10 +0000 http://drpaulwhite.com/blog/2007/05/27/how-to-deal-with-dysfunctional-people-and-not-go-crazy-yourself/#comment-4041 Dian, you have identified one of the core challenges of communication within a family owned business -- there are multiple (and sometimes, competing) needs and goals. The goal of a family is to love, care for, and nurture one another. The goal of a business is to make money through providing goods and services. Additionally, the structure and communication patterns of families and businesses differ. When the two are intertwined, challenges result. The best solution is to clarify and delineate the goals, roles, etc. of the family and those of the business -- and figuring out when you are functioning in which system. Sometimes, however, this can be virtually impossible. In those cases, sometimes business/family members resolve the situation by removing themselves from one of the systems (usually the business). Dian, you have identified one of the core challenges of communication within a family owned business — there are multiple (and sometimes, competing) needs and goals. The goal of a family is to love, care for, and nurture one another. The goal of a business is to make money through providing goods and services. Additionally, the structure and communication patterns of families and businesses differ. When the two are intertwined, challenges result. The best solution is to clarify and delineate the goals, roles, etc. of the family and those of the business — and figuring out when you are functioning in which system. Sometimes, however, this can be virtually impossible. In those cases, sometimes business/family members resolve the situation by removing themselves from one of the systems (usually the business).

]]> by: Dian Brutocao (concerned reader) http://drpaulwhite.com/blog/2007/05/27/how-to-deal-with-dysfunctional-people-and-not-go-crazy-yourself/#comment-3581 Wed, 30 May 2007 13:53:46 +0000 http://drpaulwhite.com/blog/2007/05/27/how-to-deal-with-dysfunctional-people-and-not-go-crazy-yourself/#comment-3581 There are some business/legal situations that require or “force” a person to work cooperatively with another who either doesn’t have the capability or desire to communicate effectively, or follow- thru with necessary objectives, or making timely decisions. Additionally, there may be a boss (parent), or authority figure, who doesn’t recognize, or chooses to enable (protect) the individual to continue in this fashion. They have not separated personal relationships from business relationships or decisions. When we are speaking of a family business the dynamics seem especially confusing. If both other parties are content to continue the cycle-- lack of follow- thru, protection, then there is no incentive for either to change because it seems to work for both. It seems the best solution (after communicating the conflict) may be to remove oneself from situations requiring cooperative efforts as the situation is both unhealthy and prohibitive in cooperatively working together toward completion of a task or objective. Any comments/suggestions? There are some business/legal situations that require or “force” a person to work cooperatively with another who either doesn’t have the capability or desire to communicate effectively, or follow- thru with necessary objectives, or making timely decisions. Additionally, there may be a boss (parent), or authority figure, who doesn’t recognize, or chooses to enable (protect) the individual to continue in this fashion. They have not separated personal relationships from business relationships or decisions.

When we are speaking of a family business the dynamics seem especially confusing. If both other parties are content to continue the cycle– lack of follow- thru, protection, then there is no incentive for either to change because it seems to work for both.

It seems the best solution (after communicating the conflict) may be to remove oneself from situations requiring cooperative efforts as the situation is both unhealthy and prohibitive in cooperatively working together toward completion of a task or objective.
Any comments/suggestions?

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