“What is the purpose of work?” is both a personal question for me and a key question for many of the families with whom I work (although they don’t necessarily ask it directly like that).  Consistent with the stereotype of a hardworking Midwestern farmer, I am a pretty hard-working guy (I am not a farmer, but come from that heritage). So I work fairly long hours, but probably more importantly, I work consistently — not taking many days off or vacations. Not bragging. Not looking for either respect or sympathy. Just describing the situation.

And the question, “What is the purpose of work?”, is relevant to many of my clientele families at many levels. For many, they no longer have to work in order to support themselves or their families. They have been successful in business, investing, or wealth-creation of some kind and now have sufficient financial resources for the rest of their lives. But most (not all) continue in some form of work — investing their time, energy and intellectual capital in new endeavors. Why?

And the purpose (or meaning) of work intersects their lives at another level — their children (and sometimes grandchildren) either currently have or will have access to more than enough money and financial assets that they really will never have to work in order to support themselves or their families. So the question becomes: Why should they work? (or even prepare for working through education?) A somewhat easy question to answer at a theoretical or principle-based level, but far more difficult in real life conversations when your kids ask the question.

I am not presupposing I have all the potential answers to these questions, but I have thought it through some (and discussed the issue with a lot of people). So here are some of my thoughts.

First, let me define what I mean by “work”. I am talking about meaningful and productive life activity. It does not only mean a paying job — most adults do some forms of work that are not paying (making meals, doing the dishes, lawncare, paying the bills, laundry) — although many wealthy individuals and families hire these tasks out to others. I think probably the most undervalued form of non-paying work is parenting, and more specifically, mothering. Mothers work long, hard hours; they don’t get paid; and they don’t typically get much in return (accolades, thanks, recognition). Mothering is, flat out, a tough job. There are additional non-paying jobs in the forms of community service and volunteering. So work is not defined by payment in this context.

In fact, that segues into one of the core questions about work in our culture today — if you have enough money, why work? And the converse of this question actually is the implicit (and sometimes explicitly stated) goal for many — “I want to get rich and have a lot of money so I can quit my job and never have to work again!” Aside from fame, I think this is the primary driving force for those who desire to be professional athletes, movie stars, entertainers, record producers, and possibly many entrepreneurs.

The inferred meaning of work from this perspective is: The purpose of work is to make money.

So if you have “enough” money (which is a personal definition), you don’t have to work. This is where the dilemma intersects with children and heirs of significant financial wealth — if the primary purpose of work is to make money, and we have all the money we need, why should I go get a job? And why should I study hard in school to get a job I don’t need?

The problem is, from my perspective, this is a limited view of work. Work, besides making money, is meaningful daily life activity — making something, serving someone, providing something of worth to others (either individually or to the community in which you live [local or globally]). And I believe it is woven into the nature of humans to both desire meaningful, productive activity and to gain satisfaction from the same.

This actually creates some challenges in some kinds of work — you don’t always see the product of your time and effort. In my field of counseling and consulting, my “products” are somewhat ethereal. You can’t always see the results of my efforts (sometimes not immediately, but later; sometimes for a brief time period and then they seem to dissipate; sometimes not ever!) So I counteract this by doing more physical tasks in my avocational time — trimming trees, writing an article — a task where I can see some type of visible result.

Now, for me personally, I am not in the situation where I am able to “not work” (for pay). I still need income to support my family. But even for me, I ask (especially when I am weary or discouraged) — besides earning money, for what purpose am I working? What am I trying to accomplish? What am I accomplishing? Does it matter? To whom? (And does it matter if it makes any difference to someone else?) [To those of you with whom I work, I am not indirectly looking for accolades or reassurance of my efforts — I am letting you in on my internal thought processes.]

One of the reasons I went into the counseling profession initially was because I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives, rather than manufacture (or sell) some physical object that may or may not really enhance the quality of anyone’s life. But that is a value decision on my part. And even so, is that the core reason to work — to make a difference in people’s lives, or to improve the world? Maybe, maybe not.

Besides these reasons, what are other purposes of work? For some, there is a spiritual aspect. For others, work can be the mechanism through which they discover themselves and become all they were meant to be.

Realistically speaking, I think work can become the measure by which we attempt to gain self-worth (to some, being a Vice President of a company means you are better as a person than if you were a factory assemblyman). And I think it is also a way we try to gain acceptance or recognition from others — other people will think more of us if we are more “successful” in our careers. No judgment here on these, just laying it on the line.

So the question remains — what is the purpose of work? Why do you do what you do? Is it just because you “have to” (or you feel you have to)? Think about it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A related, interesting question to me is: what is the purpose of leisure? (Especially since, from my perspective, our culture pursues leisure like a cocaine addict pursues their next fix.)

As I continue to work with families across the country, as well as locally, one of the most common challenges facing young people (and the most common daily life concern voiced by their parents) is the struggle of finding a job. It can be a high school or college student looking for a summer job, college graduates looking for full-time employment, or a young adult who has decided to change career directions. But the complaint is the same — I (they) can’t find a job. And they are getting discouraged and feeling stuck.

Now if we “weed out” those who are only half-heartedly looking for a job (they maybe don’t feel the pinch of needed finances yet) or those who are still looking for the “perfect” job (that is, the one that meets all of their criteria), most have been putting forth significant effort. They have updated their resume, they are looking at the classified ads of available jobs (whether in the local newspaper or through on-line sites), and they are posting their resume and application on the mammoth job-search sites like monster.com and careerbuilder.com .

But the problem is — they are not finding jobs. They may have a telephone interview or even a “first” interview. But that is as far as it goes. And really, they aren’t finding too many jobs that “fit” them. What they are looking for doesn’t seem to be out there. And after a few weeks (or months), panic begins to set in. That is usually when I hear about their search, and their dilemma.

Now I know people find jobs through monster.com and its equivalencies. Otherwise, employers wouldn’t post job openings on the site. But I can tell you that I am hearing lots of negative stories from employers and managers who have attempted to use the jobsearch websites. One of the most common complaints is that they receive hundreds of applications that aren’t even nominally qualified for the position. So they have to weed through hundreds of applicants to get to the possibly qualified. Secondly, they get overwhelmed with the number of applicants and really don’t have the time or resources to sort through them all. So they default to the age old process employers have used for decades — hiring someone they know or someone referred to them by a friend, business associate or former employee. It’s called hiring through your personal network.

Networking is still the best way to find a job. Using your relationships to gain an edge in the hiring process jumps you past the hundreds of online applicants sitting in their email box. And let me explain why employers defer to this process.

First, most businesses in the United States (89%) are family-owned businesses. And family-owned businesses create 78% of all new jobs in our economy. Now some family owned businesses are large (like Mary Kay Cosmetics), but most employ 100 or fewer employees. And smaller businesses often don’t have a real smooth hiring process — it usually includes the supervisor who is trying to fill a position. Follow me here — most supervisors and managers aren’t trained in the hiring process, they feel incompetent and uncomfortable doing it, and hiring people takes time and energy away from their primary job responsibilities. So they want to hire someone fast and get it over as soon as possible. (They also tend to procrastinate in the process.) Therefore, the easier you can make the process for them, the better for you.

Secondly, you have to understand what employers are looking for. Being honest, there are a lot of weirdo’s out there — strange people, unhealthy people, people who aren’t really interested in working - they just want a paycheck. And employers have had a lot of negative experiences with people who look good on their resume or in an interview, and then turn out to be a real pain to work with. And employers want to avoid more of these experiences. But legal issues prevent them from using personality measures to screen out unhealthy people. So the next best method is to either hire someone you know or hire someone a respected friend recommends. They turn to their network of friends to reduce the risk of making a “bad hire”.

You see, most employers today realize they are going to have to train whoever they hire because most companies are quite specialized in what they do. You probably don’t know their accounting software, the CAD system they use for designing airplane parts, or don’t know their product line. But they can’t train people in character — and that is what they are looking for. They want someone:
*who will show up for work
*who will listen and follow directions
*who is self-motivated and wants to learn
*who has the ability to get along with others
*who has integrity and will do a job well done.
And the best way to find someone with these qualities is to have someone they trust recommend a potential employee to them.

So, if you are (or a member of your family is) looking for a job, here is what you should do.
1. Think about your friends (and your friends’ parents), your parents’ friends, your siblings’ friends, people you know from previous jobs, teachers from school, friends from activities you have been involved in, neighbors, friends from church — all of the community connections you or your family has had. And start brainstorming on people who run businesses or are involved in organizations related to the field you are trying to work in.

2. Here’s the key. Don’t try to find the person who may be able to offer you a job. With the exception of summer jobs, it is highly unlikely that you actually know a person who is hiring for a position you would fit. What you are looking for is — someone who knows the person who is hiring. Business people know other business people — either as vendors and suppliers, customers, or competitors. And they meet together and talk, and often mention, “If you hear of someone who has an accounting background and is looking for a job, send them my way.”

3. Focus on people who know a lot of people. Financial advisors, insurance salesmen, pastors, teachers/professors, counselors/psychologists — all come into contact with a lot of business owners and managers/supervisors on a day to day business. Call them and say, “I am looking for a job in the area of ….., who would you recommend I talk to about this?”

4. Don’t just talk to people and stop there. No matter who you talk to, ask this question: “Who else do you know that it might be good for me to contact?” This is true, especially when you have talked to a potential lead and it is “dry” (it doesn’t lead any where productive right now). Remember, you are trying to get names of people who know people who are hiring. And also, always follow up with a note or email with your contact information. Often, an employer might not be hiring right now but in two, four or six weeks an unexpected need arises. If they have your contact information, they can get a hold of you. If they don’t, they can’t — and you lose an opportunity.

So do yourself a favor. Use the method that is going to bring you the best results. Focus your time and energy on “working” your relationship network (and keep your posting online applications to a minimum). I can’t “guarantee” results, but I tell you from experience (both personally and those whom I coach), this is the way to go. (And I would love to hear any personal stories you would like to share.)

Go get ‘em!

Contentment.  This is one character quality you don’t hear much about these days.  In fact, being content is really a countercultural concept.  I haven’t recently (or ever, actually) heard a commercial say, “Keep what you have.  Fix it up a little or just make it work a while longer.  You don’t need to go buy something new.”   We are bombarded with messages to not be content — we need the newest or latest version (”new and improved”) of xyz, or we really can’t be happy in our current modest home, or we are enticed to take the family on fairly expensive trips or cruises.  None of these things, by themselves, are wrong obviously.  But at some point it seems that it would be good to be content with what we have.

Think about the various aspects of your life — your home (or apartment), your current vehicle(s), the community where you live, your sound system(s), your spouse or your single marital status, your clothes, the food you eat, it can go on and on.  Which of these do you really like?  Which are just “ok”?  Maybe there is some part that you really dislike.  But how much of our desire for something new or different is actually driven by comparison with others — rather than just a pure need?

This is a personal issue for me, partly because of where I am in my own life development.  Up to this point in time, I have primarily been driven to look for “more” – have new and different experiences, try to develop a better job situation, expand my impact in the world (not so much, have the latest and greatest things).   But recently I am realizing the need to slow down, enjoy life in the moment, and be content with where I am in life.

For me, contentment is closely tied to gratitude.  When I stop and am thankful about my life — my health, the home I have, my wife and kids, my job — then I am less likely to feel driven to “do more”.  But interestingly, almost always, there is a downside to each aspect of life as well.  For example, I have really quite good health (and usually sleep well, which I really appreciate) but I have a few nagging pains here and there.  Or, I love my home in the country, but it also means my car is almost always dirty because I live on a dirt road.  I have a great wife and wonderful kids, but we have our struggles and challenges at times.  And there is a lot I love about the work I do, but I also get tired from the emotional demands and the hassles associated with traveling.  So there are pro’s and con’s to each part of life.  But I can choose to focus on the positive aspects and experience the quiet peace that goes with it, or I can become consumed by the negatives and live life angry, irritable and unhappy.

The problem is — we really aren’t taught how to be content in our culture. And the bombardment from advertising can wear you down. So let’s look at some practical ways we can “try on” or practice the viewpoint of contentment.

1. Think of an item you have been considering purchasing. Now tell yourself, “You know, I really don’t need a new ________. Sure, it might be nice to have, but is buying and having it really going to make me happier? Or significantly change my daily life experience? I think I will wait for a few weeks and see if I really think I need it then.”

2. Think about where you live (either your actual house/apartment or your community). Spend some time making a list (at least mental, if not written) about what you enjoy or appreciate about your living situation. If you are really dissatisfied, think about others in the world who do not have clean water, don’t have consistent electricity (and no air conditioning), or who live in a place where their physical safety is at risk. Most of us really have it quite good.

3. When you start to complain or think negatively about your daily life responsibilities (job, home responsibilities, schoolwork), say out loud to a friend, coworker or family member: “You know, even though I have to ________ and I really don’t like that part of my daily life, I am sure glad I don’t have a job where I have to ________________ (fill in the blank with any nasty circumstance thousands of people deal with daily — work 10-12 hours a day/7 days a week; not being able to find work to support themselves or their family; do manual labor in the hot sun for little pay, etc.).

4. If you are not real happy in your current relationships situation (family, marriage, living alone, significant dating relationship), stop and take note of all of the neat people that have impacted your life positively — your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends. Most of us have had the privilege of being in a relationship where others truly cared about us.

5. Be aware of the potential to compare your life situation negatively with those around you.  One response I try to practice in my life is when I hear about something really neat for someone else (they bought a new car, they sold their business for a lot of money, they are going on a exciting vacation), I try to respond: “That is great.  I am really happy for them.”  (It is important to not follow up with additional snide or sarcastic comments, however!)

I am not trying to be a sappy psychologist here, or just move us to “think positive thoughts and your life will be joyous and peaceful” –but I guess I am trying to nudge us that way. And interestingly, there is a secondary benefit of contentment as well — we tend to spend less money because we aren’t trying to buy things or experiences to make us happy.

In fact, Benjamin Franklin said “Contentment makes poor men rich, and discontentment makes rich men poor.” I know I have seen both poor people who are quite happy, and extremely wealthy people who are not only miserable but they keep pursuing riches and eventually lose their material wealth, as well.

So try it. Practice some new thoughts and speech. Be aware of how much you are bombarded with messages to be discontent with your current life circumstances and laugh at them. And see if life isn’t a bit more pleasant and peaceful for you.