This weekend I am reflecting more on the issue of “chance” in life. (I put the term in quotes because,depending on one’s worldview, “chance” may not be the correct term — for some, the occurrence of seemingly random events are the result of Providence, for others it is related to karma or possibly one’s mental attitude, while others view the events as truly random.)

The issue is not just a theoretical topic of discussion. Two weeks ago, a friend of mine died from cancer. Last week, a son of a friend was killed in Iraq by a roadside bomb. Two days ago, a community (Greensburg, Kansas)within two hours drive of my home was totally destroyed by a tornado. And today, we have more storm systems moving through the area that might just be thunderstorms, or they may become tornadoes, and might possibly destroy my home or others whom I know. I am not trying to be negative or fatalistic, these are just the realities that have touched my life recently.

How does this relate to business? Well, first, I am thinking about the residents where not only their homes, but their schools, hospital, gas stations, retail stores, essentially all of the buildings in the town (save the County Courthouse and one grain elevator) were destroyed. The people of this community have no home and they have no place to go to work. This is similar to, but on a far smaller scale, the devastation which occurred in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast communities. I guess one conclusion I am reaching is — business success is not solely a result of intellect, hard work, or prudent financial decisions. You could have all of these characteristics, but if your company is physically destroyed, . . .

The issue also reminds me of conversations I have had with many successful businessmen and women, when I have conducted personal interviews with them (in the context of helping them develop a wealth transfer plan or business succession plan). When asking them to what do they attribute their financial success - they often respond (along with other characteristics) with “luck” or “being in the right place at the right time”. Let me cite some examples. One business owner decided to purchase a food packing facility which had as a small piece of business the production of military MREs (meals ready to eat). This was in the late 1980s. In 1991, Desert Storm occurred and their firm was asked to produce millions of MREs for the U.S. government. He simply stated, “We just happened to be there when they needed them.”

Similarly, I have a friend who works for a company that coordinates the booking and billing of hotel rooms between hotels and large organizations that use hotel rooms frequently (airline companies, bus lines, etc.). They had done a little work for the Red Cross previously, in helping their emergency workers find hotels in places near natural disasters. Then Katrina hit. And not only did they become the primary vendor for the Red Cross, but they also became the central nervous system for FEMA in coordinating hotel rooms (and eventually, apartments) for displaced residents. Did they know Katrina would hit and create this need? No, but they were there, had developed some previous relationships and then were able to create the systems to meet the need when it occurred.

Now, as has been said before, “chance is the intersection of preparation and opportunity”, and just having a positive opportunity does not guarantee success. There is much that needs to happen to turn that opportunity into reality.

But I guess I am contemplating about the flip side. I am realizing that for many people over the centuries, one reason they were not hugely successful in business, in their profession, or financially was not due to any factor or flaw in themselves, but it was partly (if not fully) due to negative circumstances in their lives — ill health, negative economic conditions, drought, fire, accidents — it really could be any number of events out of their control.

I have no significant conclusion or action step. For me, I have been humbled by the goodness of circumstances in my life — health, safety, living in the United States, a caring family, the opportunity for education. I am also burdened by the challenges others are facing in their lives today and this week — due to no fault of their own.

This week I have been reading Benjamin Franklin’s The Way to Wealth. I have always been intrigued with Franklin, and I also am personally committed to learning from successful individuals across history. Two of his key themes in The Way to Wealth are the interrelationship between the practice of frugality and industry.

To cite some of Franklin’s comments:

“It is important to realize that all a person has is the product of his or her labor. . . If we are industrious, we shall never starve. . . In short, the way to wealth, if you desire it, it is as plain as the way to market. It depends chiefly on two words, industry and frugality; that is, waste neither time nor money, but make the best of both. Without industry and frugality, nothing will do, and with them everything.”

These thoughts combine with the repeated “drum” I hear in the marketplace from business owners and managers — that it is difficult to find employees with a good work ethic. In fact, a business owner lamented to me today, “I just don’t understand workers today. They don’t want to work — they want to be paid well but they aren’t willing to ‘put in their time’ to learn and work their way up in the organization.” Many times I hear managers talk of the impatience or short-time frame that workers have — they seem to expect to receive rewards (wage increases, promotions) quickly.

A third stream of thought that also weaves together is this. I have had the opportunity to interview numerous (50+) successful multimillionaire business owners across the country as part of my family business coaching over the past few years. One of the questions I consistently ask is: “To what do you attribute your business and financial success?” (and this is usually answered by the business owner and their spouse). One of the two most common responses I get is: perseverance. One businessman stated: “We just kept doing what we were good at and tried to serve our clients well. We worked long and hard — it wasn’t magic and it wasn’t easy.” (Just for your information, the other most common response runs along the theme of “we were in the right place at the right time”, or “God blessed us with an opportunity and we were able to capitalize on it.”)

So to tie it together: Franklin’s focused on industry as part of the formula for creating financial wealth; there is a perception that there is a dearth of workers with a good work ethic currently; and perseverance is repeatedly cited as a key component to financial/business success. So one conclusion I come to is — there are a number of people in our workforce that are probably not going to experience much success (either in the workplace or financially) if they don’t come to understand the importance and necessity of working hard and persevering.

I think a lesson for the rest of us who do work hard is to “hang in there”. Obviously, we need to keep focused on our core competencies and implementing the plan that we believe will bring success, but not to lose heart and give up. On the other hand, as a friend/consultant shared with me just today, the issue isn’t just “working hard”, the goal is to achieve results. Many individuals seem to focus almost exclusively on working hard, thinking that is the goal. But lots of effort without results (however those are measured) is, ultimately, futility. And it seems to me, the ability to determine what actions we should persevere in requires some business savvy, along with a measure of discernment and wisdom.

To close with a bit more from Franklin, he believed to “do well by doing good.” That is, if we choose to serve others and help others become successful, we will eventually experience the benefits of these actions.

One of the most common statements I hear from families with whom I work is: “We just want our kids and grandchildren to develop a good work ethic.”  This is sometimes in the context of discussing their wealth transfer plan, and they don’t want to leave their heirs so much money that it interferes in their developing foundational character qualities.  Sometimes the comment is in the midst of business succession planning and the parents are stating that it doesn’t matter to them whether or not their kids work in the business, but they want them to work somewhere.  Or sometimes the statement comes in the midst of discussion about leaving a legacy and passing one’s values onto the next generation.  Almost always, a “good work ethic” is included in the list of important values.

But do we really know what we mean when we say “good work ethic”?  I am convinced many people do (usually those who have one), but for many,  the term is largely symbolic and when asked what they mean, they have a hard time describing what a good work ethic really is.  My contention is — if you can’t describe it, you may not know what it looks like when you get there, and clearly you aren’t able to design a plan to help your children grow in these characteristics.

First, we need to understand they are skills, behaviors and habits that can be taught and learned.  That is, they aren’t transferred through your gene pool.

Characteristics that describe a “good worker” include:

  1. Showing up.  Unbelieveably (to me), one of the consistent character qualities business owners and managers report to me is that they want someone who just show up.  Many times employees just “don’t show” — sometimes they call, sometimes they don’t.  And this isn’t just for entry level unskilled labor, this includes college graduate “professionals”.

  2. Being punctual.  Employers want someone who will come to work on time and are ready to work when they are supposed to be.  Unfortunately this is a problem in our culture today — many people are always “running late”.  I often comment — if you were scheduled to have an appointment with someone you really admire and want to meet, would you be late?  Or if you knew you would get $100 for being early, would you make sure you accounted for unexpected obstacles?  Punctuality is a choice, nothing more, nothing less.

  3. Following instructions.  This starts with listening when the instructions are given and then making sure you understand the instructions — if not, asking clarifying questions to ensure understanding.  Then actually doing what you have been told to (and in the way you were instructed) is important.  Many employers complain to me that young people think they “know better” and choose to skip steps because they don’t think they are necessary.

  4. Staying on task.  Continuing to work and getting the job done (even when no one is watching) is a habit that develops over time.  It includes putting forth a consistent, good effort; not taking excessive breaks, and continuing to work even when you are tired.  Like a physical muscle, I believe the mental and emotional toughness needed to keep working develops over time with practice.

  5. Doing quality work.  Completing the task in a quality manner, rather than doing the minimum necessary, will set apart an individual from most of their competitors or peers.  Having pride in accomplishing a task well, even though it takes extra time and effort, is a quality someone who is accomplished in their field develops.  And it starts with the “little things” — mowing and trimming the lawn, folding clothes neatly, putting away all of the dishes in their correct place, cleaning out the car, etc.  And individuals who learn to “above and beyond” their customers or employers expectations are setting themselves up for a lifetime of success.

  6. Having a positive “can do” attitude.  Individuals who approach a task with the attitude of “le’ts see how we can get this done” are more likely to be successful (and are more fun to be around) than workers who have a negative, critical and complaining attitude. Just recently, I had an employer tell me this is one of their core characteristics they look for — he said, “We’ve learned that we can teach a lot of skills but we can’t teach a positive attitude.”

  7. Demonstrating creative problem-solving.  Probably one of the most desired character qualities is the ability to figure out a way to get the task done even when one has encountered an obstacle or problem.  Many people stop and wait for the “boss” to figure it out (often just hanging out, wasting time).  Others will go and report something like “it won’t work” or “we can’t get it done because …” (and then the supervisor either tells them or shows them how it can be done.)  Individuals who will stop and think, use the resources at hand (even by asking for help or advice), and figure out a way to overcome the challenge become a incredibly valuable asset to the organization for which they work.

These are a few of the basics needed in order to have a good work ethic.  And most of us, when reading the list, say “Yea, I’d love to have workers like that.”  

But the real questions are:  Would others say I demonstrate these characteristics?  If not, which ones do I need to work on?  How will I do this?

Do my children and grandchildren display these behaviors?  What can I be doing to help them learn and practice these habits? 

The topic of “work” has been in many of my discussions recently. It is the time of the year when parents and their student-children (especially high school and college aged) are discussing plans for this coming summer. And, in my house at least, the topic of work is part of that discussion.

But, additionally, many families with whom I work are consistently asking: “How do we develop a ‘work ethic’ in our kids?” or “How do we keep our children from developing a sense of entitlement, given our financial situation?” In fact, this is a common topic in the financial publications (for example, “Avoiding Entitlement” in the March 2007 edition of Worth.)

Ok, so let me straightforward about this. Kids (and people of all ages) learn how to work by working. You can’t teach them by lecturing about it, by showing them a documentary on work, by having them read a book on “developing a work ethic”, or by telling them stories about your childhood (two of the four of those are fairly common strategies used by parents and grandparents.)

And this is a problem in our culture today — especially the subculture of financial wealth — children and young people have very little experience in “working”. And largely, because of the choices we are making, they have very little opportunity to learn how to work.

In one family I served, one of the parents’ stated goals was for their children to learn a good work ethic. The problem was — their kids were already in their late teens and early twenties, and they hadn’t been raised to do much. Their parents had a housekeeper, a cook, gardeners and a lawncare service, a personal assistant who ran errands, a pool cleaning service, and the student who lived at college had a weekly private laundry service. In the summertime, the students were busy going on trips with their friends, their friends’ families, sports camps, as well as a family vacation. And their schedules were the same over Christmas break and Spring break — they were always going somewhere fun. During some summers, they would put in a few token hours at their father’s business (e.g. 2 hours a day) and get paid handsomely for it. This was essentially their experience of what “work” was.

Obviously, these young people really had no opportunity to learn how to work — largely because the parents had not made learning to work a priority. And this happens all the time.

One part of the problem is that it is costly (and a hassle) for parents to help structure the experiences of work — whether it is chores at home or summertime work. You have to make it a priority and some other part of your lives have to “give”. Your student may not be able to go on an exciting three week vacation with their friends, or your family vacation may be impacted as well.

A second aspect of the problem is that making choices to teach your children how to work is currently countercultural. If you have some financial freedom, the message is that you should allow your children to experience the best of life — exotic Spring break trips, being able to play on the best club sports team and travel every weekend to tournaments, or go to really neat educational camps or internships during the summer. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with each of these, in and of themselves. However, at some point parents have to say “no, you need to work this summer”. Or, “you can’t go to the sleepover until your room is clean”. (There are lots of variations of these statements! All of which are based upon the principle — work comes before play.)

To illustrate the seriousness of the issue, let me cite some discussions I have had recently with business owners across the country. When I ask them what they are looking for in people they want to work for them, three answers are common. They want someone who will: (a) show up (that is, they actually come to work); (b) show up on time; and (c) listen to and follow instructions. A pretty low level of expectation. And, interestingly, these characteristics do not just apply to high school students working at restaurants and retail stores, but for young adults beginning their careers after college.

I have a lot to say on this topic, but let me leave you with the following challenge. As you look toward your family’s summer plans, I would strongly encourage you to ask yourself:

“Will any of the activities planned help my children learn how to make and keep commitments, to do tasks that they really don’t want to do, and help them learn what the world of work is like?”

If not, when are they going to learn these characteristics?

A very frequent topic of discussion, books and articles today is the question: “Is the cost of college worth the investment?” Often proponents cite historical data of the cumulative increase in income a college graduate earns over their career in comparison to high school graduates.

This then leads to a variety of issues addressing variations or derivatives of the global issue, such as the high cost of private colleges and arguments that state colleges are a better value, or rebuttals that private colleges provide more “value” and the real cost for graduates isn’t that different (partly because many students attending public universities take five years to complete, while private college students are more likely to complete in four years.)

Another related topic is that of debt – whether parents or students should fund college education by taking out loans. Dave Ramsey, a conservative popular financial advisor, strongly opposes this path. Others such as Eileen Gallo, who advises wealthy families, comes from a different point of view – discussing whether wealthy parents should pay for all of their students’ college education or not. And then there are the rest of us who value higher education, and are asking, not if, but: “How much debt should we (or our child) take on?”

I believe this discussion will continue for several years. And the questions are not easy to answer. The problem is: I believe, that we are asking the wrong questions (at least, initially).

Anytime a question of “value” or “worth” is being raised, there is a deeper set of questions which need to be asked (and hopefully, answered) first. Questions such as:

*What are the risks associated with the process (i.e. the process of going to college)? What are the risks associated with taking out X amount of debt to pay for their college (risks for us as parents, risks for them as a young adult)?

*How can these risks be minimized?

*Who should be involved in making these decisions?

*How will we communicate with each other (parents, student, grandparents, others) about our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, observations – especially over time as circumstances in life change?

Now, let me offer some of my thoughts and responses to some of the questions.

First, I believe using historical data from the 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s to justify investing in college today can lead to erroneous conclusions. The world has changed. A college degree no longer, in and of itself, leads to higher wages or a more successful career. Take a quick look around you and note how much college graduates are working in entry level jobs not related to their field of study. (For financial types, this is similar to using past performance of a mutual fund manager to predict future success – it really depends on the manager, the period of time you are comparing to, and other market factors.)

If the degree is from an inferior institution (on-line “buy your degree” colleges, and some community colleges) or in an area with minimally marketable skills (how about a B.A. in“general studies”?), the time and money may be wasted. There are many ways to obtain skills and knowledge today not possible in the past, (including the Internet.) I have met many young entrepreneurs who are starting their own businesses in real estate, landscaping, construction, or buying franchises, who are not college-educated but who are being trained in alternative ways.

Second, as Thomas Friedman has written in The World is Flat, one of the areas of continued need economically will be service occupations that need to be provided locally. This includes many skilled trades (electricians, plumbers, carpenters, auto mechanics, home builders) for which a college degree is not the way the profession is learned. We have a major problem in our culture in that our educational system is biased heavily toward verbal skills and processing information. But there are millions of individuals who are talented in the visual-spatial, mechanical, mathematical, musical, artistic areas that are not being trained well – and there is already a shortage of these types of professionals in our country today.

Third, it is important to note that, for many, the purpose of college is not limited to developing a marketable career skill. Many also argue that the college experience broadens the person, exposing them to different types of people, different ways of thinking, and new life experiences that will shape them for life. I personally hold to this view – and incorporate this into the “value” I believe college brings to individual’s lives. (The more cynical viewpoint is: “What do I value about college graduates over high school graduates? They are usually older.”) Others (Bob Copeland in Ten Things Employers Want You to Learn in College) have written about the life skills that can be obtained through the college education process (for example, written communication skills, the ability to work with others, asking and answering the right questions.)

Finally, probably the most important issue is the factor is that young people today know virtually nothing about the world of work. They do not know what careers are out there and have only a cursory knowledge of what a professional really does (ask them about civil engineers, occupational therapists, actuaries or an insurance adjustor). The world of education and the work of work are largely in two separate universes today. And young people have little exposure to the world of work – either by working themselves or by seeing what their parents do.

So, in my opinion, (and I will be writing more about this) if parents want to help their children succeed in finding a career they should focus more on educating them about various jobs, careers and industries, and spend less time and money on SAT/ACT preparation courses and finding the “right” college. Where one goes to college is clearly secondary decision compared to having a general sense of one’s life and career direction.

Yes, college is expensive. But to answer the “is it worth it?” question, parents and students need to think through some more foundational issues first.

This past Sunday, one of the lead articles in Parade magazine (the magazine inserted into millions of Sunday newspapers) was on emotional intelligence. The article was written by Daniel Goleman, who is one of the “founding fathers” of the concept of emotional intelligence and who has written groundbreaking books on the subject (I personally have found Working with Emotional Intelligence to be a helpful, practical guidebook on the subject.)

In my work with successful business families across the country, I have had the opportunity to interview over 60 multimillionaires (usually, their net worth ranges from $20 million to $100 million) by conducting a day long retreat with the business owner and their spouse. And clearly I have found an overlap between the concepts of emotional intelligence and these successful individuals.

“Emotional intelligence” is one of those terms and concepts that many people use, but often don’t know exactly what it is. (Part of this is due to the fact that it is a relatively new construct and different authors and researchers have defined the term in different ways.) However, two of the concepts tied to emotional intelligence are what I want to address.

In the retreat I conduct with financially successful couples, one of the questions I always ask is: “To what do you attribute your business and financial success?” And what is fascinating are the recurring themes that I have heard over and over.

Depending on the person’s worldview, one of the most common answers either is: “We are fortunate to be blessed by God” or “We were in the right place at the right time – it had little to do with me.” Both answers reflect a sense of the world and life being bigger than themselves personally. Yes, they brought some talent, skill, training or other characteristics to the situation, but part of their success had to do with factors outside of their control. (This first reason given is not directly related to emotional intelligence, but is a result of the emotional intelligence concept of “having an accurate view of one’s place in the world” – neither overvaluing oneself, nor undervaluing your significance as an individual.)

Probably the second most common response is, bluntly stated, “perseverance”. These people, who are now multimillionaires, report comments like: “We just kept trying — we never gave up.” “We hung in there through the bad times, and tried to learn from our mistakes.” “We just working our plan.” It is interesting (to me, at least) that many of these individuals had failed in business or financially (by declaring bankruptcy) prior to their current success. But, whether through a personal passion related to the goods or services they provided or just a characterological “bulldoggedness”, they refused to give up.

This concept of perseverance is clearly referred to in the emotional intelligence literature. Often it is described as “self-control”, “managing oneself”, or “self-discipline”. But the construct is clear – a key component of managing oneself emotionally is the ability to get up and go to work when you don’t feel like it, to persevere through difficult times, and to keep on task in spite of weariness and discouragement.

The third most frequent response given by wealthy individuals, regarding the “secret” to their financial success, surprised me somewhat, but it kept recurring across the interviews. They often reported: “We took care of our customers.” “We were committed to giving the best service possible to our clients, even if it cost us extra at the time.” “We were honest and fair in dealing with our customers, our vendors, and our employees.” Essentially, they chose to do what was best for others, even if it was costly to them personally at the time.

In emotional intelligence terms, this is based on the concept of “perspective-taking” and “empathy”. First of all, one has to be able to see a situation from another person’s point of view – to see what they want in the situation (known as perspective taking). Then, one has to be able to put aside your own feelings and desires, and act in a way which is best for another, which is based on empathy – having a sense of how another person is feeling – and choosing to respond to meet their felt needs.

What is fascinating to me is the fact that most of the multimillionaires that I have interviewed have come to the conclusion that a large part of their financial success is really a result of emotional intelligence — specifically, the ability to persevere and demonstrate self-control, and serving others as a core part of their business.

This is in stark contrast to the myriad of books and articles that focus on marketing, leveraging your money, or some specific investment technique. I think the message is: if you want to be financially successful, do what you do well; serve your clients, vendors & employees (rather than cutting corners); and keep at it in spite of the obstacles and challenges you encounter.

In my work with families across the country, most of them significantly wealthy families, one issue I continually address is the challenge of career development and college choice for young adults. Globalization, as Thomas Friedman has shown in his book The World is Flat, is a huge factor affecting career choices today (www.thomaslfriedman.com).

“The great irony is that children from affluent families are given more choices than anyone else, but they are also less prepared than anyone to handle those choices. As a result, they are overwhelmed and they often respond to that feeling by voluntarily relinquishing their power of choice.” (p.49).

Now, I am not sure I agree with his assertion that young people from affluent families are “less prepared than anyone to handle those choices” but surely they have more choices to weed through than most people.

Shechtman’s premise is that since the explosion of information has occurred, the number of choices have also multiplied – including the number of possible job opportunities. This is true for middle and upper class young adults, not just the ultra-wealthy.

Shechtman then states,

“It’s overwhelming because most people don’t possess a sorting mechanism – a method for dealing with all the choices presented to them. Unlike previous generations, young adults have relatively little occupational experience to draw on to sort choices.”

I totally agree. In fact, I have written an article to help high school students in their college decision making process (located in the Article & Presentation section [Career Assessment] of my website).

Most young adults I talk to today are almost paralyzed – not knowing where to start in their career search. So they often either don’t do anything, or settle for the easiest solution close-by – some job a friend of the family has or something familiar to them.

Often this results in a significant level of underemployment – the young person accepting a job far under their capability because they don’t know what else to do.