Recently, in a variety of settings I am observing the issue of trust impacting business relationships.

Obviously, trust is at the foundation for business transactions – that the vendor will provide the goods or services purchased, that the goods or services will be at the quality level described initially, and that the customer will pay for the goods or services in the time frame agreed upon.

Another area of business where trust is impactful is in the employer / employee relationship – where the employer follows through on commitments communicated to the employee and the integrity level of employees to be trusted to access to information and resources.

This past week I was talking to a business owner who described a situation where he had hired a sales manager (in early 2008, prior to the financial crisis hitting) who in turn started hiring a fairly high cost sales staff. Whenever the current owners or management team raised issues or asked questions of the sales manager, he reported replied, “Do I have to earn your trust or earn your mistrust?” (implying they should trust him until he proved untrustworthy.)

I replied that this was the wrong question. And, in fact, I find much communication around the issue of “trust” is not laid out properly. I do not believe that the question is: “Do I trust you?” (or “Do you trust me?”). This is too broad.

Trust is situation specific. The more appropriate question, I think, is: “For what do I trust you?” Or, “What am I willing to entrust to you?” (responsibility, privileges, resources). I may trust you to hire staff within a budget amount but I may not trust you to have total access to all of the company’s financial data. Or, I may trust you to pay bills with appropriate procedural checks and balances but I don’t trust you to have total access to the company’s financial resources without monitoring.

Think back to common family situations. Teenagers often complain to their parents, “You don’t trust me!” But again, the real issue is “trust you to do what?” I do trust you to choose good friends and to tell me the truth about where you are going, but no I don’t trust you to drive three hours late at night in a car with four of your friends on a snowy night.

Generally speaking, trust is earned — either from prior behavior with other individuals (that is why we trust professionals who have gone through training and certification in their profession, but we often also check references of people with whom they have worked) or in their behavior with us. We trust others (in the defined areas of responsibility) based on previously demonstrated responsibility in similar areas.

[I do admit that in many daily interactions we confer trust to others when we have no specific basis to do so, other than assuming most people are trustworthy in daily life transactions. However, this level of trust varies greatly across individuals’ own personal history and life experiences.]

I find that people (both business owners and parents) tend to get “burned” when they give more trust and responsibility to others when the person hasn’t demonstrated a basis for that trust.

A second area where I find business owners and managers tend to get taken advantage of by others in the business world is when they ignore early warning signs of mistrust. Partly due to the self-reinforcing tendency that we don’t want to admit that something may be wrong (and that we made a mistake in hiring this person), and sometimes partly due to people’s propensity to want to believe the best of others - we wind up overlooking early warning signs of a person not being trustworthy. As a result, we continue to entrust responsibilities and resources to the individual and find out later they weren’t trustworthy in how they handled the responsibilities - digging a deeper hole and creating more problems for the business.

So, where do we go with all of this?

First, I would suggest to accurately define the parameters of trust in relationships. Using a framework such as, “I am willing to trust you to…” Sometimes, it may be appropriate to say, “I am willing to trust you with… because you have shown yourself responsible by… ” Additionally, sometimes you may need to add, “…but I don’t feel comfortable yet in giving you the responsibility to …” Finally, it is helpful to clarify what responsibilities need to be demonstrated in order for you to trust the individual with more areas (this is really helpful in dealing with teens - versus the arbitrary “when I feel comfortable”.)

Secondly, I would strongly encourage each of us to pay attention to early warning signs of problem behaviors. This can take many different forms, including:

*the facts just don’t add up

*you are getting reports from clients and customers and other trusted team members, about some problems in a team member’s behavior

*the team member responds to questions and challenges with a “don’t you trust me?” type of response

*the team member is quite adept at making excuses, blaming others or circumstances versus admitting they made a mistake or error in judgement.

How should you respond to early warning signs?

a) talk to the individual about your concerns; often your concerns may be due to misperceptions or miscommunication;

b) obtain verifying information by an independent third party;

c) set up processes and procedures to monitor transactions

d) document the issues and behaviors which are creating concerns for you. Often the weight of evidence over time becomes significant, while no one specific incident is that large.

I think it would be wise for each one of us to consider the following old saying,

“Wise individuals see danger ahead and avoid it, but fools keep going and get into trouble.”

Given that I have the opportunity to interact and observe with businesses across the country, it gives me the potential to learn from those whom I serve and interact. In preparing for a presentation to a chamber of commerce luncheon, I decided to share some of the observations I have gathered over the past months. I have seen businesses who are doing relatively well and those who are not (or who have closed their doors). And these are the patterns I have seen.

Businesses who do well in difficult financial times:

Are able and willing to make and implement tough decisions. Some companies who were not able to make tough business decisions quickly are no longer around. Those who hesitated and waited before making cuts have suffered and made the path more difficult for themselves. It is important to note that family-owned businesses often struggle in this area — either because they do not have the processes and decision-making mechanisms in place to make authoritative decisions, or because the “difficult” decision may be to let family members go.

Realize that marketing is a way of life. I am using the term “marketing” to essentially mean: a) letting people know what you do; and b) being easy to find by potential customers. Those companies who were doing well, had a large back-log for their services or products, and who had fallen asleep in their marketing, often had difficulties “gearing up” their marketing plan when tough times hit. However, those companies who had continued to actively market were in place to adjust their plan and keep going.

Combine focus with diversity. Although I firmly believe in Jim Collins’ “hedge hog concept” (knowing what you do well and using that product/service to drive your business, I also believe there can be focus with diversity. Many of the companies who are now doing well in this tough economy had some diversity built into their business plan — either a variety of markets to which they applied their product/service, or they had a secondary line of products that they could “ramp up” in response to a need that arose. A number of companies who have only one primary service or product line are struggling to survive and/or develop a new product or service in times where there is not a lot of available capital to do so.

Understand that the focus of “networking” is not primarily about finding potential customers but looking for opportunities to serve others. Given that I was at a networking event, this was an important topic to address. All too often (almost always, in fact) business representatives go to networking events (luncheons, educational seminars, receptions) with the primary focus in mind to meet potential customers, give them your thirty second “elevator speech”, and press your business card into their hand. And with what do most of us walk away from these events? A blurred memory of who we met and a stack of business cards. Consider the following scenario. How much would you remember the person who actively sought to hear about any needs or challenges you are experiencing and was able either to connect you with a resource that could help or introduce you to someone who may have the service you need? Now that is impactful.

Actively encourage their employees. I have been working on a project of applying the Five Love Languages (a book used in personal relationships) to work-oriented relationships.

Initially, when Dr. Chapman and I started the project, the economy was good and one of our primary applications was in “how to keep valuable team members”. For many companies now, the issue is how to keep your employees from becoming discouraged and burned out — they have more work to do and increased responsibilities with the same (or maybe less) pay and resources.

We have developed the Managing By Appreciation Inventory to help managers and business owners how to communicate encouragement and appreciation to their employees through non-financial means, and how to do so in a way that is significant and meaningful to the employee. Whatever tool or method you use, it is critical to find ways to encourage and show appreciation to your employees in these difficult times. Briefly think of what a discouraged employee looks like in day to day life, and quickly calculate the costs to your organization of having a discouraged team — loss of productivity, poor customer satisfaction, negative attitudes, increased mistakes.

So, if your business is still alive and kicking, take a minute and see if you can take any of these factors and apply them to your organization — and hopefully increase the probability of your survival!

Given the multiple “hats” that I wear professionally, some people know only about certain areas of service I provide (for example, consulting with successful business families) and not with other areas (evaluating individuals with ADD / ADHD and learning difficulties).  So I thought I would share some about the ADD / ADHD side of my work.

Although many people talk about “Adult ADD”, from a professional point of view there is no “ADD” anymore.  It all falls under ADHD, even for those individuals who are not hyperactive nor excessively fidgety.  There are actually three subtypes of ADHD:

• the hyperactive - impulsive type (sort of the classic “wild boy” that many people think of when they think of “hyperactivity” — on the go non-stop, high energy, difficult to control, loud (often), accident-prone (because they move or do things before thinking about them), etc.
• the inattentive type.  This used to be called ADD without hyperactivity.  These individuals primarily have a hard time focusing, concentrating, are easily distracted, lose their train of thought.  In girls, they were sometimes referred to as “airheads” or “space cadets”.  Guys were referred to as the “absent-minded professor-type”.  These people aren’t hyper or fidgety but they lose things easily, and are pretty disorganized.
• the combined type — that has some aspects of both.  This individual could be a “full-blown” ADHD person who is hyper, impulsive and distractible.  Or they could just be inattentive, distractible and impulsive.

A key point to note is that the person does not have to be hyperactive to be ADHD.  This is often confusing to people — I frequently hear “Well, he can’t be ADHD because he isn’t hyperactive — maybe ADD, but not ADHD.”  And I understand what the parent is saying. It is just that (from a professional’s use of the term) really no one is just ADD anymore.  [But parents and teachers still frequently use the term.]

I have been evaluating individuals with ADHD for over twenty years now, and have seen 4,000 plus students (from 5 years old to senior adults).  And frequently, after evaluating a school-aged child, the parent (often the father) says — “You know, J.D. reminds me of me as a child.  I really struggled with the same issues — and still do.”   This then can lead to an evaluation of the parent and, lo and behold, they also are ADHD (research shows that about 50% of fathers of ADHD students are ADHD themselves.) So let’s talk a little about Adult ADHD and what it looks like.

1. First, it is important to note that many very successful people are ADHD.  Some of the characteristics of ADHD (high energy, being socially outgoing, a risk-taker) help individuals become successful entrepreneurs, salespersons, entertainers, athletes, and law enforcement officers.  (You don’t tend to find too many ADHD accountants or actuaries!)  But it is also important to know that these same character qualities limit these professionals success — risk-taking in moderation (with appropriate judgment, due diligence, and risk management) can be good.  But excessive risk-taking — without the necessary ability to “wait and see”, investigate further, etc. — can lead to poor decisions with damaging results.
2. Secondly, just like ADHD students vary tremendously in their individual profile of ADHD characteristics, so do ADHD adults.  Having said that, there are some common daily life symptoms:

*Great starters. Poor finishers.  ADHD adults are often imaginative and creative.  They come up with great ideas, and even start out on the new path with lots of energy.  But they quickly can become distracted, discouraged, or overwhelmed with the details to make the project work.

*Struggle with managing paperwork.  ADHD adults can do some paperwork, for a while.  But too much paperwork overwhelms them.  And they have a hard time keeping on top of a lot of paperwork over time.  They build piles on and around their desk.  And they usually need the help of a very effective adminstrative assistant (or spouse) to clean up their piles.

*Forgetful.  An ADHD adult would “forget their head if it wasn’t connected”.  They lose their keys, their wallet, their glasses, their checkbook, important paperwork, . . . One of their most used phrases is “Has anyone seen my ….?”

*Time management issues.  Some ADHD adults tend to be chronically late to appointments, not having a good sense of time.  Others, because of their struggles in this area, overcompensate and leave early for appointments — so that they won’t be late.  A large number of ADHD individuals tend to underestimate how long it takes (or will take) to complete a task — and so they are always running up against the deadline to complete the project.

*Impulsive behaviors.  Think about doing or saying things “on impulse” — and that is the struggle many ADHD adults have.  They speak they mind bluntly.  They interrupt others.  They make quick decisions without thinking through all of the issues.  They spend money quickly and easily.  They can be impatient with others (or circumstances).  They can be easily frustrated and have a quick temper (especially when they are tired, hungry or stressed.)

*Struggle with focus and concentration.  Many ADHD individuals complain about not liking to read (they rarely read the assigned books in high school or college).  They can’t remember what they just read.  Sitting through lectures is torture for them.  They can just sit and watch TV or a movie — they have to be doing something else at the same time.  They forget what they were just going to say, or why they came into the room (it is probably a different issue if you are 50+).

There are lots of other common symptoms of Adult ADHD; these are just a few, but they give you a start.  For more information go to this website on diagnosing ADHD in adults.

So what to do if you think you, your spouse, your boss or your business colleague is ADHD?

First, find out some more.  A couple of good books are Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction, written by two ADHD doc’s, Hallowell & Ratey.

Second, see what resources are available.  www.addwarehouse.com has numerous books and videotapes on Adult ADHD, including ones specifically for women.

Third, it is important to know what treatments are available.  Most people jump to the conclusion that treatment by medication is the only alternative.  Although medication can be helpful, there are other ways to help ADHD adults.  Coaching for ways to manage their primary problem areas can be effective.  Also, there is a relatively new computer-based cognitive training program that has been shown to be highly effective as well.

I could say a lot but more, but for those who really need this, I’ve already pushed the limits of their ability to focus this long.  Have a great week!