Given that I have the opportunity to interact and observe with businesses across the country, it gives me the potential to learn from those whom I serve and interact. In preparing for a presentation to a chamber of commerce luncheon, I decided to share some of the observations I have gathered over the past months. I have seen businesses who are doing relatively well and those who are not (or who have closed their doors). And these are the patterns I have seen.

Businesses who do well in difficult financial times:

Are able and willing to make and implement tough decisions. Some companies who were not able to make tough business decisions quickly are no longer around. Those who hesitated and waited before making cuts have suffered and made the path more difficult for themselves. It is important to note that family-owned businesses often struggle in this area — either because they do not have the processes and decision-making mechanisms in place to make authoritative decisions, or because the “difficult” decision may be to let family members go.

Realize that marketing is a way of life. I am using the term “marketing” to essentially mean: a) letting people know what you do; and b) being easy to find by potential customers. Those companies who were doing well, had a large back-log for their services or products, and who had fallen asleep in their marketing, often had difficulties “gearing up” their marketing plan when tough times hit. However, those companies who had continued to actively market were in place to adjust their plan and keep going.

Combine focus with diversity. Although I firmly believe in Jim Collins’ “hedge hog concept” (knowing what you do well and using that product/service to drive your business, I also believe there can be focus with diversity. Many of the companies who are now doing well in this tough economy had some diversity built into their business plan — either a variety of markets to which they applied their product/service, or they had a secondary line of products that they could “ramp up” in response to a need that arose. A number of companies who have only one primary service or product line are struggling to survive and/or develop a new product or service in times where there is not a lot of available capital to do so.

Understand that the focus of “networking” is not primarily about finding potential customers but looking for opportunities to serve others. Given that I was at a networking event, this was an important topic to address. All too often (almost always, in fact) business representatives go to networking events (luncheons, educational seminars, receptions) with the primary focus in mind to meet potential customers, give them your thirty second “elevator speech”, and press your business card into their hand. And with what do most of us walk away from these events? A blurred memory of who we met and a stack of business cards. Consider the following scenario. How much would you remember the person who actively sought to hear about any needs or challenges you are experiencing and was able either to connect you with a resource that could help or introduce you to someone who may have the service you need? Now that is impactful.

Actively encourage their employees. I have been working on a project of applying the Five Love Languages (a book used in personal relationships) to work-oriented relationships.

Initially, when Dr. Chapman and I started the project, the economy was good and one of our primary applications was in “how to keep valuable team members”. For many companies now, the issue is how to keep your employees from becoming discouraged and burned out — they have more work to do and increased responsibilities with the same (or maybe less) pay and resources.

We have developed the Managing By Appreciation Inventory to help managers and business owners how to communicate encouragement and appreciation to their employees through non-financial means, and how to do so in a way that is significant and meaningful to the employee. Whatever tool or method you use, it is critical to find ways to encourage and show appreciation to your employees in these difficult times. Briefly think of what a discouraged employee looks like in day to day life, and quickly calculate the costs to your organization of having a discouraged team — loss of productivity, poor customer satisfaction, negative attitudes, increased mistakes.

So, if your business is still alive and kicking, take a minute and see if you can take any of these factors and apply them to your organization — and hopefully increase the probability of your survival!

Part of my job as a psychologist is to observe — observe patterns of behavior, be attune to my own thoughts and feelings, and to derive some potentially helpful information form patterns I see. In recent months and weeks, I have observed some factors in life that really wear people down — they are not really hidden but are often subtle. Sometimes they are obvious and plain, but people (both the person experiencing the aspect of life as well as those around them) tend to minimize the impact of the issue on their life.

So let me share some of my observations (remember, psychologists are often ‘masters of the obvious’!)

• Health issues and Chronic pain. Individuals who struggle with chronic pain are well aware of how even persistent low levels of pain can wear a person down. But those of us who are blessed not to have this struggle can experience this intermittently. Not too long ago my right ankle started bothering me — it was sore and swollen after I ran (using the term “run” loosely). I ignored it for a while but it persisted, so I finally decided to go have it checked out. After seeing my doc and then getting some tests, it turns out I have partially torn a tendon in my ankle. What has amazed me, however, is how this small injury and relatively mild level of pain can take a toll of my energy.
• Financial stress. Obviously, many in our country are experiencing significant stress in their lives due to a number of economic factors — loss of their job, reduction of hours and pay, foreclosure on their home. And the impact of these events on people’s lives is huge. But many, many other Americans are experiencing a lower level of financial stress that is more under the surface — wondering if they will continue to have a job in the coming months; lower cash flow that leads to deficiencies in their plans to pay for childcare, private school or college; or the family budget just being tighter on a month to month basis.
• Loneliness or Lack of Emotional Support. A chronic complaint I hear from many people is that they don’t feel connected to anyone. Yes, they may be married and have children — and they may even have a decent marriage relationship. But most people need more than one person with whom to connect, feel cared for, and have a sense of community. Teenagers, single young adults, stay-at-home moms with preschoolers, successful business people, older adults — all talk to me about their frustration in building meaningful, lasting relationships with others in their lives.
• Significant Life Changes. Late summer is one of the most transient times of the year — children are going to new schools, young adults are entering or returning to college, individuals who work in educational settings are staring new positions, graduates from last spring are still to figure out where they are going to work and live. Parents of college freshman may experience sending their first child to college — or their last (our situation) and looking at the issues related to being “empty- nesters”. Life change can be stimulating and exciting, and at the same time anxiety-producing.
• Relational Conflicts. All of us who have experienced (or are experiencing) relational stress understand both the emotional and physical toll living in conflictual relationships take. Physical symptoms can include sleep disturbance, headaches, fatigue, upset stomach, or back and shoulder tension. Recently, I had a professional relationship that created tension and turmoil in my life — and it just wore me out. It wasn’t even a major conflict, but an issue that took a while to address, and I could sense its impact on me daily.
• Lack of Purpose or Direction. When people don’t know “where they are going”, or if they don’t see a larger purpose for their life and what they are doing, not only can they become discouraged, but they also seem to become fatigued emotionally. They just drag throughout the day, and run out of energy doing regular daily life tasks. Seeing how today relates to the “big picture” of life seems to be important.

So what should we do with these non-surprising observations? I think there are at least two practical action steps that flow from the points.

First, take a self-inventory. How many of these factors are in your life currently? Does their presence help make some sense of your recent lack of energy and tiredness? If so, acknowledge these stressors present in your life. Give yourself some slack. Regroup and assess what steps you need to take to either address the stressors or to manage your life better while they are present.

Secondly, be aware of those around you. See if the people in your life (family members, friends, co-workers, classmates) have these issues going on in their lives. Be gracious and supportive to them. Be a friend. Be patient with them if they aren’t “performing” up to their normal functioning (whether it’s at home, work or elsewhere).

Life is tough; sometimes more than other times. Hang in there. We are all in this together (we really are). If you are doing ok, help somebody else out.  It will be your turn eventually.

This week I have had the privilege of participating in a summit meeting of advisors who work with some of the most successful individuals and families in our country (and even the world).  Approximately twenty-five professionals from a variety of disciplines gathered to learn from one another and discuss how they can best work together to serve their clients.  Clients of the advisors present include royalty of countries around the world, former Presidents of the United States, top entertainers and sports figures in the U.S., leaders and innovators in the field of technology, “household names” of financially successful families, and generally very successful business families from various industries.

It was a fascinating two days of listening to presentations from the professional participants — who shared the latest advances in their field of service, and then to hear the team members discuss together the implications of the advances and how they can be utilized to help the families we serve.  The areas of expertise included:

*investment advisory professionals (one of the leading theorists in the field whose firm has outperformed the S&P 500 every year for the past 10 years)

*open architecture financial reporting (being able to report all of a family’s assets in one report — from multiple investment firms to including non-traditional asset classes)

*risk management  (an independent consultant who advises clients in assessing the various types of risks associated with their holdings and businesses and helps clients find the best provider for each type of risk)

*security of family members (a former intelligence agent whose firm provided security at the last World Cup games and who has successfully returned every kidnap victim safely)

*life insurance professionals (the ex-chief underwriter of one of the top five life insurance companies in the world)

*estate and tax planning attorneys (a team of attorneys who together train estate planning attorneys across the country and some of whom are involved in framing state laws in the area)

*business valuation and business succession experts (individuals who have been involved in helping transfer billions of dollars of business value from one generation to the next)

and more.

What was fascinating to me was to observe the following characteristics of these individuals:

• Humble.  Although each person was a leader in the own field, to a person they were not proud, arrogant nor self-promoting.
• A learner.  Each person was there to learn from others and people repeatedly commented on the privilege to learn from one another.
• Service-orientation.  These professionals saw their role as to serve their clients to the best of their ability.  Although everyone is also professionally successful, they were not focused on image or making a lot of money — they knew that if they served their clients well they would be fairly compensated.
• Collegial.  Although there were professionals from the same fields (e.g. accounting, tax law) as well as a variety of areas, there was no sense of “turf wars” or trying to take over areas. Rather, these professionals see and know the value of working together with others who are also competent.
• Integrity.  Repeatedly the issue came up that “we are not willing to do [x, y, or z] just to make money. We will only do what is best for our client.”
• Enjoyable to be around.  We laughed a lot.  The group was positive, caring for one another, and respectful.  I did not hear one cutting or sarcastic remark during the whole event.  And people genuinely expressed their appreciation to one another in numerous ways.

The group reminded me of an old proverb I have tried to pursue in my life:

“Do you see people skilled in their work?  They will work for kings, not for ordinary people.”

The lesson for all of us is this — do whatever you do well, learn and keep learning from others, and take the initiative to do what you can to be around those who are the best in their field.

A practical example: one of the participants who was younger (early 40s), but already extremely successful in his own field [he serves royal families in the Middle East], sought out one of the older participants and asked to be mentored by him stating “I’ll do whatever you need — carry your bags, sit in the corner and be quiet — I just want to be there, observe and learn from you.”

Share that perspective with your kids and junior managers.

I want to write about some things I have been learning about “marketing” but I don’t know how to frame the issue and information in a way that doesn’t turn people off.  That, historically, has been my reaction to “marketing” — makes me think of either high-dollar, high-glitz Madison avenue advertising campaigns or a slick (possibly slimey), fast-talking guy who gives you tips on how to sell people services or goods they don’t need and don’t really want.  (My apologies to my marketing consultants who are wonderful, warm people that don’t come anywhere near close to this description.)

But this weekend I read an article about the intersection of marketing and living in community — a viewpoint  which struck me as quite unique.  Dr. Bruce Howard is a professor of business and economics at Wheaton College (my alma mater) and he shares the following thoughts:

“In graduate school, I was surprised by the first course I ever took in marketing.  Like most people, I thought it would be about sales and advertising and learning how to convince people to buy your products.  I could not have been more wrong.  It turned out to be mostly about the practical arts of building community.  I was expecting a perspetive that was primarily individualistic and self-centered, but learned that true marketing always takes the spotlight off me and focuses it on others.”

Dr. Howard then cites Theodore Leavitt’s article, Marketing Myopia, from the Harvard Business Review in 1960 (yes, that date is correct), where Levitt states that business “is a customer-satisfying process, not a goods-producing process.”

This actually cross-sects with Michael Gerber’s statements on marketing in his best-selling The E Myth Revisited (the “e myth” is that most businesses are started by entrepreneurs; in fact, most businesses are started by technicians and service providers who think they can “do better”).

Gerber emphasizes two key aspects to marketing:  1) know who your customers (or potential customers) are (demographics);  and 2) know why they decide to buy (what he calls psychographics).  He restates the classic line, “Find a need and fill it” to “Find a perceived need and fill it.”  Gerber then argues that, for companies to be successful in marketing their products, companies must gather information about who their customers are and how they think about things.

He gets a bit intense when he states, “[I]t is absolutely imperative that you forget about your dreams, forget about your visions, forget about your interests, forget about what you want –forget about everything but your customer! When it comes to marketing, what you want is unimportant.  It’s what your customer wants that matters.  And what your customer wants is probably significantly different from what you think he wants.”

Now, back to Dr. Howard with his thoughts about marketing and living in community.  He states:

“I … discovered that building the business enterprise is about creating a community that is linked with other communities for the purposes of enhancing mutual welfare.  When people join a business, they don’t just want a job .. they want to be part of something greater than themselves.  They want to be part of a community.”

He then asks a key question:  “If business is supposed to be so community friendly, why does it feel so highly individualistic?”

He then discusses the current values driving much of the Western world’s marketplace — what is best for me (individually)? What costs the least for me (individually)?  Dr. Howard then argues that effective enterprises must also be intentional about the values they bring to the marketplace, including the value of community.
It reminds me of social entreprenuership — developing businesses that also have a positive social impact as part of their mission (for some great information on social entrepreneurship, go to www.socialimpact.com).

Part of my interest in “marketing” is how I see it all around us, in almost every sphere of life.

• The political process and all of the media communication surrounding Obama, McCain, et al.
• The bombardment of advertisements in virtually every “screen” media — the Internet, watching a movie, television, email.
• In people making daily life decisions — about cars, about food to eat, where to eat out, what movie to see, where to go to college, clothes to wear, where to go for professional services.

Secondly, I recently had an article in my community’s newspaper about a service I provide (a non-medication intervention for individuals with ADHD), and I was amazed at the amount of communication that resulted from this one “blip” on the marketing / information scene.  The story about a teenage girl who was significantly helped in her life by this approach seemed to touch people and they responded.

I guess I have a number of threads that are starting to come together in my mind (and don’t seem to be especially well-articulated yet!).  Marketing seems to be largely about the same things relationships are built on:  clear communication, understanding the other person and their point of view, trust in communication, providing accurate information, responding appropriately.  Maybe that is why, as I am coming to understand what marketing is, it intrigues me.

This weekend I had the privilege of facilitating a family meeting in Northern California with a family I have known for over six years, and we had a great time together. I returned home yesterday afternoon, and as part of my recuperation and re-entry into the family process, my family and I watched a movie together last night. For those of you who have been reading for a while, you know of my penchant for animated movies, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that we enjoyed a movie from that genre’ called Ratatouille.

After enjoying the movie together, I found an interesting clip on the special features of the DVD called “A Conversation with Brad Bird and Thomas Keller”. I hit the play button and we watched an interesting interview with Brad Bird, who was the screenwriter and director of the film and a leading animation movie producer for Disney, and Thomas Keller, the famous chef of The French Laundry restaurant in Napa, CA. What followed was a discussion with each of these successful creative entrepreneurs regarding the principles that they believe have led to their success. Some the principles were overtly stated, others are observations I gleaned from the discussion.

Early work experience. Both Mr. Bird and Mr. Keller described a period of time in their childhood and teenage years where they began working in their current area of expertise. Mr. Keller worked in the kitchen of his mother’s restaurant while growing up, and Mr. Bird entered a contest for animation when he was 11 years old. He won the contest, and with it, the opportunity to work alongside the animators at Disney studios.

Mentoring. Both men indicated that a crucial factor in their professional success was the process of being mentored by their elders in the profession. Mr. Bird’s mentoring occurred naturally with his work in the Disney studios, while Mr. Keller took proactive steps to seek out and work under successful artistes in his field, initially in the N.E. United States and then in Paris.

Commitment. Each man both verbalized directly and reported life stories about the level of commitment needed to be successful. Success does not come from a “hobby” approach to one’s profession, and requires the sacrifice of long hours and focus.

Emotional connection with clients. Interesting to me was the common factor of emotional connection cited by both professionals. Getting into the mindset of one’s clients was a key process in their creation of their products. They attempted to visualize and “be with” their clients in the experience of partaking of what they had created. And they wanted their clients to feel the passion and emotion they put into their creations. (Do they teach that in MBA programs?)

Quest for perfection. Mr. Bird and Mr. Keller distinguished between “perfection” and “the quest for perfection.” They gave numerous specific examples in their work where they were “gently demanding” of those with whom they worked. They try not to be purely demanding in an ogre-like manner, but do try to push their colleagues: “That’s great! But if we just …, I think it will be even better.”

Coaching others. Within their own creative processes, it was clear that neither of these pillars within their fields see themselves as an island, or that they had created the success on their own. Rather, they understand the necessity of working with team members collaboratively, and even more so, saw the need and responsibility to coach those with whom they work. Mr. Bird stated that the goal is to “coach those beneath you to bring out their greatness.”

Work with a sense of urgency. Even though both men are artists, they clearly did not espouse a laisse faire approach to the artistic process. They communicated the need to have an atmosphere of urgency within the workplace, and that this aura actually brings energy to the creative process. In fact, at Mr. Keller’s restaurant they have a sign posted in the kitchen which says: “Sense of Urgency.”

Don’t over-control the process. When working collaboratively with a team of professionals who are talented in their own right, it is important for the creative director (or business leader) not to over control the process. Mr. Keller and Mr. Bird cited the need to ask for and listen to the input of their colleagues, realizing that they do not hold the patent on all good ideas.

Find delight in what you do. Finally, (and this was their concluding thought), to be truly successful in what you do, you must enjoy it. You must seek to create a product (or service) that delights you. When you make something that brings you pleasure, then others will find delight in it, as well.

The movie (Ratatouille) itself is fun. But the lessons and hearing the passion in these men’s voices as they share the lessons they have learned is even more valuable. Enjoy and learn!

“Networking” is obviously not only about trying to use relational contacts to find a job or find a quality person for a position you are trying to fill.  We use our social networks for a variety of purposes — finding quality professionals or technicians for tasks we need to get done, locating charitable organizations that are good stewards of the monies given them, or learning about areas of life we have limited experience or knowledge.  Since my article / blog on networking, I have had a number of people talk to me about their own networking experiences, and I have had a couple of unique experiences as well.

I also remembered an issue of Forbes magazine, their 90th anniversary issue on May 7, 2007, which they dedicated to “The Power of Networking”.  However, they were discussing networking in the broader context of networking through the Internet (Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, and other professional networks.)   One of the articles discussed some of the reasons people are reluctant to network.  I thought they were worth mentioning, along with some of my own observations.

People don’t like to network because:

  1.  It takes repetitive inititative.  Calling people, sending emails, going to social events to interact with others, setting up appointments — all take time and emotional energy.  And for some people (those who are more introverted) it can take a lot of energy.  It wouldn’t be as bad if we knew that the process was time-limited or defined according to a certain number of contacts.  One of the wearing aspects of networking is its open-ended nature and that we must continue reaching out to others repeatedly. 

  2. It can feel “fake”.  Networking can feel artificial and even manipulative when you are trying to connect with others for the sole purpose of getting your need met (finding a job, making a sale).  One antidote to this objection is to always include as part of your interaction to focus on what you can do for the other person.  Seeing how you can help them be more successful, or connecting them with resources you know, can normalize the interaction (and also build positive rapport that may be helpful to you at some later point in your life).

  3. There is a lot of anxiety associated with the whole experience.  Meeting with people outside of your normal social group challenges us in many ways.  We may not fully comprehend what they do, understand the language and acronyms they use, or feel competent in their social milieu.  Additionally, it is often awkward to ask for someone else’s time, knowledge and social connections, especially when we perceive the other person as important, successful or busy. 

  4. It is easier to network with those who are like you.  This is true, but generally speaking, meeting with people who are already in your larger social network will probably not be that productive in generating new and different types of connections that you wouldn’t be able to reach on your own.  If you are networking because you have a need, often your self-confidence is shaky, your emotional energy is low and it is more natural to make “easy” contacts rather than those that will stretch you, but which may yield greater benefits.

I myself, a highly social individual, get tired of meeting, greeting, social chit-chat, making requests, responding to requests, and reaching out to others.

The other night, at an awards banquet for non-profit organizations in our community, my 24 year old son sat at the table with my wife and I, and a number of business friends.  Our friends were asking Daniel about his thoughts on Facebook and MySpace — how they impacted relationships and his general impression of them as a social tool.  After sharing a variety of observations, he reported one of the challenges of the social network opportunities available now through the Internet is that “you can only keep up a certain number of relationships.”  This is a true statement, whether you are taking about Internet connections or face-to-face relationships.  Obviously, some people have more social capacity than others, but this is a limiting factor I think we need to keep in mind for ourselves (to help us have realistic expectations of ourselves) as we continue to connect with people in our daily life interactions.