I just finished traveling from Wichita to San Francisco this Election Day and was reflecting on the stress of prior Election Nights.  So I thought I’d give a few suggestions for each of us to manage our stress successfully.

Manage your expectations.  Regardless of your political affiliation or views, it is probable that not all of your desired results will happen.  In fact, it is highly likely that you will be disappointed with some of the election results.  When this happens, your life (or even your day) probably isn’t ruined.  Realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and want you want.

Watch the channels that are consistent with your viewpoint.  Again, it really doesn’t matter what your political position is — unless you want to become irritated, have high blood pressure, and be grumpy to those around you — choose to primarily watch those news stations that are more consistent with your views.  This should lower your agitation for the evening.

Get some exercise.  Take a walk.  Go for a run.  Go to the gym and work out on the machines (while watching the returns, if you must).  Do something physical, and this will help “wash away” those tension building chemicals in your body.

Stretch.  Getting uptight, literally does that — it makes your muscles tense up.  So instead of just sitting in the easy chair or on the couch, stretch on the floor or stand up and do some upper body stretches while watching the election returns.

Set a goal for when you want to get to bed (and possibly give yourself an extra 30-60 minutes).  Think through tomorrow, when you have to get up and what you have to accomplish.  Set a  “drop dead” time that you will get to bed by.

Realize that the impact on your life will be the same whether you find out the results at midnight, 2 a.m. or tomorrow morning.  We are addicted to “real time” news and have become accustomed to wanted to know the latest information right now.  In actuality, the impact on your life will most probably be the same if you find out the results in the morning, so don’t “kill” tomorrow by staying up too late tonight.

Provide some margin in your life and schedule tomorrow for being tired and emotinally drained.   It would be wise, if possible, not to pack your day full tomorrow and expect to be able to function at 100%.  You probably will be both physically and emotionally tired, and it would be good for you (and those around you) to plan accordingly.

After being on the road for a week in California, I came home fairly tired. As the weekend progressed I seemed to get more tired — both emotionally and physically. And as I started dealing with home-related (e.g. lawn) and family matters, as well as getting caught up on some minor office work and then looking ahead to the beginning of next week, I started feeling emotionally overloaded. So I started taking a personal inventory of what was going on. I thought about my own advice I’ve given previously on different types of tiredness and different types of rest as well as what I have written about being overwhelmed and ways to try to keep your life balanced.So I reviewed key principles:

• Get rest. Check. I slept in on Saturday and took a nap today.
• Keep exercising. Check. I did some physical labor in the yard yesterday and I ran (figuratively speaking) today.
• Eat well. (Stay away from sugar, caffeine and junk food). Well, I didn’t totally blow it. Had some cake.
• Take a break and do something rejuvenating. Check. Went to a high school football game Friday night, spent time with Kathy, went for a walk in the woods, and watched the Jayhawks win in football.
• Prioritize — figure out what needs to be done now. Check. Went through my mail, email and incompleted work and figured out what had to be done now, what needs to be done Monday, and what can wait.

But it wasn’t working. I was still feeling quite stressed and emotionally overloaded. What was up? And then it hit me — the real issue was that I was carrying the weight of responsibility for things I really wasn’t responsible. I was stressed and feeling overwhelmed because I was concerned about things that weren’t really my responsibility. All the steps I had taken would have reduced my stress if I was just dealing with my regular responsibilities. But I was taking on additional issues that weren’t mine and they were stressing me out.

So once I realized: 1) what I was really stressed about; 2) that the issues weren’t my responsibility to take care of; and 3) I could quit worrying about things that weren’t mine to carry — then I began to feel more “normal” (at least, just normally tired).

So if you are stressed, you are doing the best you can to manage your stress, and you still feel overwhelmed — do
another check.

Are you taking on and carrying responsibility that is not yours to carry?

Partly in reflecting on my own life this past week, I have become aware of different types of tiredness we may experience from time to time.

First, obviously, there is physical weariness, which can either come from hard physical labor (or exercise) or, more likely, from not sleeping enough. Some research suggests up to 40% of Americans are severely sleep deprived (and the percentage is higher for high school & college students). If you consistently wake up tired, become sleepy during the day, or fall asleep when you sit down for a few minutes, you probably need to get more sleep. What is the practical impact of not getting enough sleep? You will be less efficient in getting tasks done, you are more at risk for having an accident while driving, your immune system is weakened and you are more likely to become ill.

Secondly, there is emotional tiredness — just not having the emotional energy to do the things you need to. At its more extreme form, this is what we usually call burnout — your emotional gas tank is empty and you “don’t have any more to give”. Here are some common symptoms:

• you are easily irritated
• you work long hours but get less done
• you have difficulty focusing
• you are apathetic about getting things done
• you just generally don’t like your life
• you don’t want to be around people

Emotional tiredness is common after you have been pushing toward completing a big project, and you get it done. The emotional drain is greater when you are done but not pleased with the outcome, or the results weren’t what you were hoping for. Or burnout comes when you have been “giving” (in whatever form) over a long period of time, with more emotional resources going out than are coming in or being replenished. The well is dry and you don’t have anymore to give to anyone, potentially even yourself.

The third type of tiredness I think is important to mention is spiritual tiredness. We are spiritual beings and life is more than our bodies, more than work, and more than relating to others. There is a spiritual side to life that gives us purpose and meaning, and which helps us “make sense” of our lives and the world around us. We become spiritually tired, I think, when we don’t pay attention to the spiritual side of our life and we ignore it. We don’t take time to reflect or ponder; we are not living life with a sense of gratitude. We also become spiritually weary when we lose the sense of how our daily life activities relate to the bigger purpose of our life. We go through the motions of life, but don’t feel connected and have lost of sense of direction.

So what should we do if we are tired?

First, it would be wise to try to discern and identify the type(s) of tiredness you are experiencing.

Second, and this is difficult for those of us who are achievement-oriented (or a bit driven), is to acknowledge and accept that you are tired. It is one thing to generally identify the issue; it is another to accept the reality of one’s tiredness.

Finally, we need to take some actual action steps to deal with the issue. Perseverance is good, but obviously to continue to “keep going” when you are significantly tired can lead to exhaustion (physical, emotional, spiritual), and lots of negative consequences in our lives. Learn how to rest, take a vacation, or do tasks that are restorative.

After working through the weekend last week, and sort of “dragging” myself through this past week, I have had to do some things to help me “rest up” this weekend: I went to the pool and hung out with my wife and daughter; I caught a movie with one of my sons; I went for a couple of runs and a walk in nature; I allowed myself to just sit and enjoy a soccer game on TV; and I hung out with some friends. I almost feel back to “normal” (whatever that is).

As you look toward this holiday weekend, I would encourage you to stop and think beforehand — do you need some rest? what kind? And what would you like to do about it this weekend?

Have a great 4th of July!