It seems to be appropriate week to write about women and the family business, given the high profile of women in politics this past week (Hillary Rodham Clinton’s eloquent speech at the Democratic National Convention, and the selection of Governor Sarah Palin as the Republican vice presidential candidate).

Six female authors have recently published A Women’s Place . . . The Crucial Roles of Women in Family Business. Five of the authors are directly involved in family-owned businesses and all of them are consultants with The Family Business Consulting Group, Inc. In the introduction, they indicate the book is not only for women in business, but for family businesses in general (many of whom may need to rethink their positions on women in the business), and for family business advisors.

In one of the first chapters of the book, they list a variety of roles women typically embrace in business-related families. The list, in and of itself, is insightful and causes pause for reflection on the variety of roles women hold (like men, many are held simultaneously):

Business Founder. Financier. Owner / Shareholder. Co-president. Emergency leader. Back room support. Innovator. Advisor and confidante. Nurturer of the next generation of leaders. Family business board member. Board Chair. A groomed CEO or senior executive. Family leader. Family foundation leader. Individual philanthropist. Ambassador. Employee. Mentor. Family historian. Steward.

As consultants, the authors share some themes they are seeing among family-owned businesses:

• More and more women are working in their families’ businesses
• Women seem to have more work experience before they have children
• Given increasing longevity, there are more work-related years available after children are raised.
• There are more daughters partnering with their fathers and mothers in business.
• The movement toward more service economy businesses appears to make business more amenable to women.

The authors suggest a number of steps to family businesses for helping young women prepare for significant roles in their family’s business. I found a number of them to be wise words to heed:

a) Start early. Regardless of gender, family members need to be exposed to the real workings of the family business early in life, and in multiple ways across the years.

b) Don’t leave the girls out. Think about it. If a family business disqualifies women from leadership, they may be reducing 50% (or more, depending on the family makeup) of potential future family leaders.

c) Avoid creating an environment where are the role models are male. Great point – if all the mentors are male, it makes visualizing oneself in and identifying with the role model more difficult.

I have been fortunate to work with a number of women in family businesses, and like the list above, they serve in a variety of roles:

*owner and CEO of a manufacturing business
*co-founder and principal researcher in a high tech firm
*VP of marketing and business partner with their spouse
*business owner of a professional services firm
*co-chair and leader of the family foundation
*individual philanthropist and change agent
*Board officer and confidante
*mentor to other women in philanthropy
*family leader.

One theme I have observed in this collective group of female leaders is the inner strength that each of them has. Having been raised in a more traditional Midwestern family, in which the business side of the family was patriarchal, it has been an interesting experience for me to see how women often lead very differently from the traditional male entrepreneurial stereotype – and how effective their leadership is.

I am looking forward to learning more as I complete A Woman’s Place . . . , (there is an chapter on Work/Life Balance that looks interesting) but even more so, I am eager to learn how to lead (if it is possible for a guy) like many of the woman I see – effectively, decisively, but with more attention and focus on the human side of business.

There is an old saying, “It is good for brothers to get along”. And it is true. But one of the most frequent problems I see in my work is the challenge of brothers “getting along” in business. And the issue plays out in many different ways and settings:

*Brothers who have been working together for years (and now are in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s) and have built a successful business together, and are now in conflict about business succession issues — especially about how and whether the next generation should be involved in the business.

*Adult sons of the business founder who are working in the business, in different roles and levels of responsibility, and struggling with what is fair in compensation, power, influence and privileges.

*Adult children (for it is not always just brothers, but their sisters, too) — some of whom are in the business, some who are not directly involved in the day-to-day management — who are owners together and have significant conflict over the direction of the business and how resources should be distributed (i.e. dividend distributions, bonuses for the managing owners).

*One or more siblings who are working hard, taking their responsibilities in the business seriously, along with one sibling (usually a brother) who is “coasting” — not working very hard, not putting in the hours, not getting the job done — but who is pulling the same benefits (income, perks) and playing a lot more than his siblings. Result: plenty of resentment to go around.

There are lots of variations.

You may or may not remember that I grew up in a family owned business (a manufacturing company). I am the youngest of four sibs, and although I did not work in the business as an adult, I was an owner and on the Board. My two brothers worked in the business (as did my sister later on) and we had our own challenges — personality differences; some were owners and managers, others (me) were non-managing owners. So I speak from experience — it is good for brothers (and sisters) to get along. And it is a pain when you don’t.

You may have heard that there are two “CEO’s” in family businesses: the Chief Executive Officer, and the Chief Emotional Officer. The latter is often the matriarch in the family system (she may be the wife, mother, mother-in-law, or grandmother depending on the stage of the family). And one of the (self-imposed) roles of the Chief Emotional Officer is try to ensure that everyone in the family gets along. (Good luck!)

In fact, when identifying goals for the family and the business, the most frequent goal cited by the matriarch is either: “I just want everyone to be happy.” or “I would like everyone to get along peacefully.”

So, what is the point, practically? First, it may be helpful to recognize that conflict between brothers in business is a common occurrence. If this is your current (or past) experience, you are not alone.

Secondly, it is an important issue to pay attention to. Many successful businesses have been shipwrecked by unresolved conflicts among siblings in business together. It is to everyone’s benefit to address issues early, before they become unresolvable.

Finally, it is critical to recognize that relational issues — trust, healthy communication, acceptance of differences, resolving conflicts in a healthy way — are just as important for the long-term success of a family-owned business as are good management and execution of the business plan.

If you, or your family’s business, is struggling in this area, I’d love to help you work through the issues in a way that will bring a positive resolution. If I can help, let me know.

In my working with a variety of family businesses, one of the key issues to address is to develop a succession plan for the ownership of the business. That is, who will own the business in the future (and when, and how will this occur)? Obviously, the current owners want to receive fair financial remuneration and they usually want to ensure the ongoing health of the company, given that payments are set up over time.

In addition to the financial and business aspects, there are numerous family and relational issues which need to be addressed, as well. These include:

* how to be fair to all children/heirs, regardless if they work in the business or not
* can non-family executives buy part of the company?
* fears of non-family executives regarding their future
* the impact of non-working family members who become owners of the company
* conflicts and competing interests among family members.

Just like the complexity that exists in running a family business, so there are myriad interconnected issues in passing on the ownership of the business successfully.

This month I have an article addressing these issues in the Journal of Financial Planning entitled “Hidden Dragons: Handling Family Conflicts in Buy-Sell Agreements for Business Succession”. For those of you for which this is a relevant issue (whether you are an owner, a non-family manager, a family member, or a professional advisor), the article is posted on line (although the online version is a little “dry” because they don’t include the case examples).

“Family coach” is a relatively new term – and a new field. There are maybe 10-20 of us in the United States. There are a lot of business consultants, and even a lot of family business consultants who assist the owners and managers of family owned businesses. But most consultants focus on the business side, because that is their professional background and area of expertise. The problem is – many of the challenges in owning and running a family owned business have to do with the family dynamics and relationships that can interfere with the business.

This week, in the Wichita Eagle’s August 12^th business section, I was interviewed for an article that explains my personal journey – how I got into this field, the work I do across the country, and now my focus on doing more in my “hometown” of Wichita, Kansas. I still intend to work nationally, but more selectively – to work with those families with whom I can have the most impact. I love the people I have the opportunity to meet and serve, the fascinating and beautiful places where I get to meet the families – but traveling is also tiresome (more so all the time). So I am looking for more of a balance in my own life, as well.

A family coach, which I am, helps the family address the non-financial issues that are present in transferring wealth across generations and business succession planning. It is not family therapy – that would be disastrous (and not much fun!) Rather, a family coach helps the family members identify what their goals are for the business, for themselves, and for the family – and then develop a plan to reach those goals.

Common issues I help families with include:

*Assisting the senior generation “talk through” the important issues they face regarding business succession, wealth transfer, philanthropic giving, retirement – and help them come to agreement on how they want to approach these.

*Meeting with the family-at-large: children, spouses, grandchildren, etc. and educate them about the complexities surrounding family owned businesses, help the parents communicate their goals and desires to the family, and facilitate family meetings about important issues.

*Developing a plan to prepare the next generation family members to appropriately manage the wealth and business they will eventually be receiving.

*Career development for the next generation – whether they are in the business or not.

*Facilitating family meetings of all kinds – to decide what to do with the family lake house or condominium, to develop a plan for managing mutual investments (not the financial plan – but how to decide and communicate together), discussing what to do with the business now that dad is no longer running it, and so on.

I love helping families with these issues and find it incredibly rewarding!

Ok, friends, this is the beginning. The goal of this blog is to assist the myriad of individuals, family members, business owners, and people who work for family owned businesses to figure out how to successfully “put it together”. How do you live your life in a way that successfully blends your personal life, your family life and your career.

As a psychologist who grew up in a family owned business, and who consults with families and businesses across the country, I am observing and (hopefully) learning some lessons that help make life go well — and choices and patterns of behavior that can screw up your life in a hurry.

So, my goal is to share those principles for success I am seeing — and also give out warnings for the common pitfalls I see individuals and families falling into.

The topics will vary — personal growth, career direction, relationships with parents, business succession, transferring wealth across generations, dealing with unmotivated twentysomethings, overcontrolling parents, executive coaching, the craziness of our culture — but all will relate to personal growth, family issues, or challenges for success in career and business.

So, here we go! I’m looking forward to the journey and getting feedback along the way.

Paul